If Only My Parents Knew…

Midweek recommendation

In a previous post, we explored how kindness starts growing a spine by the age of 13-15 in terms of standing up instead of standing by. But what happens when kids don’t speak up? What if they’re scared to even tell us?

When I searched for media recommendations around the idea of kindness growing a spine, I came across countless videos on bullying.

What struck me was how many of these real-life incidents ended in self-harm. Some even went past the point of return. It’s heartbreaking to think about what our children must be carrying inside to feel that hurting themselves is the only way out.

This 3-minute video is about a group of kids saying, “If only my parents knew how I was bullied.”

This is not easy to watch, but it’s one every parent should.

If my parents only knew how I was bullied

Some excerpts from the transcript of the video shake you-

“Wow… they created a whole other Instagram account to hate on me.”
“These days, kids make jokes about how you should go kill yourself.”
“I don't want to make a big deal of it. I brush it off… when really, sometimes it's not.”
“If only they could see what’s going on in my head…”

These aren’t actors. They’re real kids talking about bullying online, in school, and in their own minds. What hurts more than the bullying itself? Feeling like the adults in their lives don’t see it.

One kid says it plainly:

“I didn’t tell my parents… I didn’t want them to be angry. Even though they wouldn’t be.”

The first step is home

Before kids act with courage out in the world, they need to feel safe being honest at home. This is why being an upstander starts with emotional safety. In an earlier post, we discussed upstanders- those who speak up, step in, and act when it counts.

But what if the very first act of courage… is telling you they’re not okay? As one of the teenagers in the video says- “I don’t want to make a big deal of it. I brush it off… when really, sometimes it’s not.”

That line stays with you because it is a big deal for them. And saying it out loud, even just once, can feel like stepping off a cliff.

In that moment, they’re not looking for a perfect parent or a polished solution. They’re hoping you, the parent, won’t trivialise it by rushing to fix or explain it away.

For kids stepping into adolescence, standing up for others starts with learning how to stand up for themselves by naming the pain, by asking for help, by trusting an adult to hear them without panic or judgment.

That’s why this video matters.

Because courage isn’t spontaneous- it’s rehearsed. And for many children, that first rehearsal doesn’t happen in the cafeteria or classroom. It happens at home, with you.

Before they close you out, ask this

"You know, I saw a video today where a kid said: ‘I didn’t tell my parents… even though they wouldn’t be angry.’ It made me wonder, do you ever feel that way with me?"

Then listen. Don’t fix. Don’t jump in. Just stay with them.

Because the courage to tell you what hurts is the first step toward helping someone else, too.

Remember, Raising kind isn’t always easy. But it’s always worth it.

See you soon with the next issue of Raising Ki(n)d.

Gaurav G